Haters Gonna Hate. No Sweat Off My Ass!

Those who know me know that I'm probably one of the nicest, most down to earth, fun and drama-free people they'll ever meet. 

But this post isn't about them. It's about the haters. 

Don't get me wrong here- I really don't spend a lot of time on negativity. But, sometimes, shit just happens.

I have a "hate club", and honestly, I LOVE IT.

I'd rather be ostracized for what I have to say about the world around me, than ignored for not having anything worth listening to.

Why?

Because that means I'm making a difference. Retaliation [however unintelligent] means I'm hitting the nail on the head, for lack of a better analogy. I'm sparking emotions, and getting a rise out of people, and that's the best thing an artist can do- inspire. That's my job.

Hate me if you will, all too often because I speak the truth.

People are intimidated by that- truth and intelligence [especially if you're fairly attractive]. Some will tell lies to hide their faces. Some will retaliate. But these people don't matter in the least. As long as you're honest and a good person, they can't take you down. No one can hurt you unless you give them that power [and unkind people don't deserve that privilege].

Fear not- stand tall and keep doing what you do. Those who DO matter will show it [and worthwhile friendships can be built on this].

I have so many wonderful friends who support me in everything I do, and I am so thankful for that. I've met so many great people along the way, and am always meeting more. Often the good ones are few and far between, but this makes me appreciate them that much more. <3

The "hate club" can go fuck themselves for all I care. I know I'm making a difference, and that's all that matters. Glad to know I'm doing a good job! 

What Is "Perfect", Anyway?

Every day I see people [women, especially] comparing themselves to other bloggers, models, celebrities, etc. I see countless comments on my friends' photos saying, "perfection", "gorgeous", "so jelly".... Too many of them spend countless hours looking at photos of other people living out their fabulous lives, and wishing their own were better. 

And I can't, for the life of me, understand why they spend so much time and energy living vicariously through 'perfect' people they [probably] don't even know, instead of creating their own version of 'fabulous'... 

What is "perfect", anyway? 

"Perfect" is merely an idea, a vision, and a false one at that. It's a badge that people pin to others they deem 'better' than themselves, for whatever reason- beauty, lifestyle, etc. It's an excuse for them to think poorly of themselves, and not strive for more, for happiness. 

What they don't realize [even if they say they do] is that "perfection" is impossible. There is no "perfect". Nobody is perfect, no one has a perfect life, and no one can ever achieve perfection in anything they do. It's all in their heads. 

Fuck "perfect"!  

"Perfection" is a lie we tell ourselves to [subconsciously] make us feel like shit, and keep us from striving to reach our full potential. So let's just throw that word right in the trash. Erase it from your vocabulary. 

And if you find yourself dwelling on how fabulous someone else's life is, and feeling shitty about your own, turn off your computer and go do something! 

Our lives are what we make of them- no more, no less. And they're just that- ours. 

Who cares what our famous internet 'friends' are doing at any given moment? They don't dictate your life, so why are you giving their images [of all things] that kind of power over you? You're only making excuses not to do anything with yourself. 

You CAN have the kind of life you've always dreamt of, but only if you stop limiting yourself with negative thinking. 

We have to learn to love and believe in ourselves before all else. So what if our lives suck right now? With positive thinking and positive action, we can completely turn it around. 

If you stop dwelling on how "perfect" everything is for others, and putting yourself down, and instead, focus on all the good things in our lives [great weather, good mood, awesome food, whatever..], things WILL start getting better. Positive thinking leads to positive action, followed by positive reaction from the world.... 

[Some of my financially poorest years led me to become rich in mind and spirit.]

<3 Change your mind, change your life. <3 

And above all else, FORGET ABOUT PERFECTION ALREADY! 

The Art Of Not Giving A Shit

I like to think that by now I am well-versed in the art of 'Not Giving A Shit'. 

This doesn't mean I don't care about anything- it means I don't care about the stupid things. I don't complicate life to the point of making problems out of nothing. There's no need for it. 

I'm free to be ME. 

I get a lot of compliments and admiration for 'having the courage to be myself', like it's some difficult and/or scary thing to do. But really, I can't imagine not being 'different'. I am who I am, and I just don't give a shit what you think. 

I guess, for most people, it's a fear of being HONEST- with themselves, and the world. They feel an immense pressure to 'fit in', when in reality, we are all different- we all have our own place in society. It is impossible for us to be that 'ideal' person, no matter how hard we try. 

Secretly, a lot of us want to be 'special', to feel like we matter, and make a difference. But really, there is nothing 'special' about being this 'ideal person', so why are you trying so hard to become something you can't possibly achieve? BE YOU. Individuality is what makes you 'special'. 

Don't be afraid of criticism. 

This is probably one of the biggest fears of humanity. You're going to face criticism no matter what you do, so why not just be yourself? 

I may be a walking 'freak show', but I get a lot more positive comments than negative. Body modification may not be everyone's cup of tea, but people at least respect that I have the courage to be myself, and express what's on the inside, on the outside. 

KISS [Keep It Simple, Stupid] 

People, generally speaking, have a tendency to complicate things far more than what is necessary. They 'make mountains out of molehills' and read between the lines for hidden meanings that were never there in the first place.

Relax. The world isn't out to get you. Take everything at face value- no more, no less. 

Lose the ego - be REAL.

All too often I see 'little people with big egos'- people who think they're entitled to everything, yet really have accomplished little more than nothing. These are the same people who can't handle criticism, make problems for others, and are incapable of truly, honestly loving. You typically want to avoid these people, as well as avoid becoming one of them. They're delusional.

Take a lesson in humility, and be comfortable with the fact that you're not 'perfect'. No one is. But that doesn't mean we can't strive for perfection- do your best at everything you do, and be honest about both your achievements and failures. There's no need to lie- it'll come around to bite you in the ass later. Just be your real, honest self. 

Love yourself, and others.

I once heard 'you can't truly love others until you learn to love yourself', and it's true. Life is about getting to know and love who you are. It's an ongoing process- you should never stop discovering your strengths [and weaknesses], and growing, and learning to honestly love who you are, and who you want to become.

Also, love your loved ones with your entire heart. Tell your partner you love him/her often, and mean it. Do nice things for your friends, family, and partner[s] often, without being asked. Show them you care, and don't let personal upsets affect that- never take ill feelings out on those who don't deserve it. Love wholly, truly, completely. 

Don't take life too seriously. 

'Don't take life too seriously. It's not like you're going to get out alive.'

Don't be an uptight jackoff. Learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes. Have a little fun once in a while. Laughing keeps you young [and sane], and gives your abs a workout!

And most of all... stop giving a shit what people think about you. 

What "Style" Is, And Isn't

Style isn't... 

...about following the latest fads. 

...wearing only designer labels. 

...what other people tell you is 'cool'. 

...starving yourself. 

...trying to look like celebrities. 

...copying others. 

Style is... 

...being yourself. 

...getting to know who you are. 

...experimenting with new things. 

...wearing what YOU like. 

...not caring what the world thinks. 

...confidence. 

...LOVING YOURSELF! 

Be true to yourself and the world around you. 

It doesn't matter what others think, only what YOU feel about yourself. 

Stand tall and dare to be different. <3 

My Thoughts On Photoshopping [For Style Bloggers]

FYI, what I am about to say in this article is not directed at fashion publishing, advertising, etc., this article is aimed directly at personal style bloggers who Photoshop their images. Not the photographers they may work with (those photos are products of the photographer, not the model(s), and this does not apply), but the photos they took themselves, or had enlisted the help of a friend or significant other, blah blah blah..

Girls, seriously, stop Photoshopping yourselves to look like a fashion model clone in every single photo you post online.

When it comes to personal style blogging, you are sharing your personal style. This includes the dilemmas of bad skin days, and fat days, and my-hair-hates-me days, etc. Don't tell me you don't have those days, because everyone has them. These are very 'human' things, and are also things your readers can relate to.

I'll be the first to tell you- I'm suffering from a huge breakout at the moment. Yes, I have skin problems. But you won't see me Photoshopping my imperfections out of my photos, especially when I'm keeping a diary of my life- an acne breakout is a part of my life... This is a small example.

I've heard of girls who not only routinely edit their skin and hair, but also make themselves look thinner- stomach, thighs, etc. And I'm appalled.

Style blogging isn't about changing your image to look like a high fashion model, but rather, showing off who you really are, the person that people admire (even if you don't see it right now). Not everyone is going to like their body 100%, but the old adage is true- it really is what's on the inside that matters. It does take some time for people to accept this, generally speaking, but it's a necessary realization.

I think, as a style blogger, it's more about creation of character, much as an actor would, but the character is your actual self. You can be anything you want to be, as long as you have the faith in yourself and your means. We all have our little quirks and imperfections, and it's up to us to accept them as a part of who we are, and still go on, being the best we can be.

And if you're so worried about being the "perfect blogger" to appeal to brands, think again-

Look at me- pretty much everything about me goes against what society views as 'beautiful'- I have many tattoos and piercings, a masculine haircut, I cuss like a sailor, make terrible [terribly awesome?] sounds with my keyboard and guitar, and you're more likely to see me in black skate sneakers than high heels. And yet, somehow, the vast majority of people view me as beautiful. And I'm doing just fine as far as brand partnerships go, BTW...

Why is this?

I don't give a shit. That's it. I don't care what people think about me, or how I look, or what I do. I know I'm doing what I need to be doing right now, and that's what matters. It's about confidence and not doing what society mindlessly tells you to do, when your gut is telling you what's really right for you.

I don't take myself, or life, too seriously.

Be yourself, and don't be ashamed of who you are. If you are doing good things and always being honest [with yourself, as well as others], you have nothing to feel guilty about. Stop beating yourself up, and be the best 'you' you can be! It doesn't matter what you look like- don't hide yourself away from the world!

Stand up straight and always carry yourself with confidence, even at times when you seem to be lacking. Write about the things you feel strongly about. Focus on your best physical assets (and stop kicking yourself over the ones you don't like! No one really cares!). 

Be good to yourself. Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Take some time to pamper yourself, as well as being alone and quiet, and being at one with your intuition. Feed yourself well (but refrain from overeating), and focus on being healthy. Get to know and love who you are, and be kind to yourself. 

That's it. That's all that really matters. Once you learn how to love yourself, you can finally learn how to truly love others. The rest kind of falls into place on its own... 

...And you won't care about Photoshopping your images. Seriously. 

When you stop caring about what others think about how you look, and are proud to be who you are, Photoshopping a tiny blemish that people really don't give a crap about seems trivial and unnecessary. The same goes for making your thighs thinner and your belly smaller or your boobs bigger. It just doesn't matter. What does matter is that you are a great person and have something good you can bring to the world. Do what you love the most, and don't worry about the naysayers. 

Fashion Bloggers: Stop Comparing Yourselves To Others

There is a lot of envy, shame, cattiness, etc, among style bloggers that I've never come to understand.

So many girls refuse to post photos of themselves online because they are ashamed of their appearance. Many starve themselves to look like the 'top fashion bloggers' who happen to be tall, thin, wealthy, and often with jobs as models. Others leave horrible comments, telling girls they "look fat", or worse. I've even heard of teeny-tiny girls ashamed of being too small! Or maybe you don't like your nose, or your chin, or whatever.

But here's something to consider- all of us have things we don't like about ourselves.

Who cares if you're not a model like Rumi, or you aren't wealthy like Jane? Stop comparing yourself to others!

You will never look exactly like someone else, and that's AWESOME!

Want to know a secret? I hate my nose, and my sensitive skin, and my belly, and my thighs, and the fact I have to shave twice as often as most women.. but I've learned to accept these things as part of ME, and I love me!

It's all about getting to know ourselves and learning to love who we are. Take care of yourself and be kind to your emotions. Stop dwelling on what you aren't, and shift your focus to your good assets! (You do have them, you know.)

And don't ever feel bad if/when someone leaves horrible comments on your blog. (Delete them without a second thought!) Understand that these people are trying to avoid their own insecurities by putting you down (that's their problem, not yours), and you want nothing to do with their kind anyway. You're better than that!

Blogging Tip: You Can't Please Everyone

I could rant about this for hours, whether it be pertaining to blogging, or real life matters-

YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE.

I see so many style bloggers out there who are trying so hard to be 'famous' by trying to fit that style blogger cliche. You know what it is- that 'hot' item that everyone's raging about, paired with the crossed ankles pose or something similar, etc etc etc... You are not 'new' or 'fresh' or any other word you can come up with that means you stand out. You are just another clone.

While you have something in common with a lot of other style bloggers, you will be overlooked by a lot of professional brands because you have nothing new and exciting to offer. You're just like everyone else. And you're going to miss out on a lot of opportunities.

And if you choose to be yourself, something different, you may be limiting yourself to a smaller (or non-existent) niche, but your character (who you are) will be more memorable.

No matter what you do, you can't please everyone.

So spend some time figuring out who you are, and have fun with it! Don't worry about what others are going to think- it's likely you'll be appreciated more for being yourself.

Narrow your focus and create your own niche. It'll be okay. It's for the better.

Are You Too Judgmental?

I just read a post that Gala Darling posted the other day, titled Help! I Judge EVERYONE!, about which a reader emailed her with:

"Gala… I am having the worst time. I just found out that I am the person I hate. I realized how shallow and gross I am and how I see others. I realized how strongly I rely on the physical appearance of things. I realized that I judge people for things that don’t matter. I HATE people who do that. I’ve had people bully me my whole life about stuff like this. I’ve been on the receiving end forever. And today I realized I am just the same. I am them. I hate me. What on earth do I do? How do I change the way I think? How do I change?"

Gala, bless her heart, turned to her friends on Facebook to help answer this question. And there was a great response. [Check it out!] Unfortunately, I missed it, but feel this is an important topic to cover (better late than never) because, as humans, we are naturally inclined to be judgmental in one form or another, and should work to overcome negativity.

Let's get a little personal here, shall we?

A lot of people judge others by appearance. In most cases, they're jumping to conclusions based on what little information they have gathered about the person in question. Too often these conclusions are built from internal issues that have little to do with the person being judged. They are actually based on feelings of inadequacy.

While I have overcome the act of jumping to conclusions, I do perform a sort of character profiling based on what I see/hear/smell. This is beyond mere clothing or (non)fitness. I'm looking for signs of confidence, egotism, ulterior motives, etc. that may or may not lead to future problems. I look for tics, posture, etc. Anything that will tell me what I need to know about someone, before I pass judgement. (None of these thoughts are based on my own self worth.)

There, I said that awful word- judgement. (Who am I to judge?)

But, I think, it's how we handle this judgement that makes all the difference....

See, when I think of the average prissy bitch (sorry!) judging someone who may possibly be taller, thinner, prettier, and perhaps a much nicer person, I'm bothered by the fact that this prissy bitch is wasting her time dwelling on this negativity. All the time she spends gossiping, etc. could be spent doing something productive.

When I find myself judging someone, it is merely a decision of whether or not that person is worth my time. Even if I am not particularly fond of someone, I still conduct myself civilly and do not let my emotions control my actions. People are going to do what they want, regardless of what I think or say. I can't control them. However, I can choose how to react to them, and I prefer to take the moral, dignified route. There are better things to be done than waste time hating others.

In dealing with this sort of negativity, I think it's always important to ask yourself:

• Is this a reflection of my own insecurities?
• Am I jealous? 
• Why else could I feel this way? 
• Am I letting these thoughts negatively impact my life? 
• Could I be wrong? 

These questions can be a little scary sometimes. Because truth hurts. But be brave, and consider.

How do you handle judgement?

Expansion And Giving Thanks

As many of you probably already know, I receive products in the mail from various companies to take photos of and review on my blog, social profiles, etc.

Well, I'm happy to announce that I'm expanding, working with more companies, some of them dealing with professional quality products. More specifically, I'm thrilled!

I absolutely love trying new products and blogging about them. If I could turn this into a career, I would. (And I'm working on that..) After all, what girl doesn't want to be recognized for her good looks? Total vanity, I know, but every woman should feel beautiful. It's important for self esteem, whether we want to admit it or not.

I'm also really happy to see that people are liking my blog and want to work with me. I'm pretty rugged for a style blogger- I cuss, have many tattoos and piercings, and wear so much black I can never find anything in my closet. A lot of people like that about me, but it still isn't accepted by mainstream society. (I still get followed around stores by workers who assume I'm going to steal something.. Come on now, really??) So, honestly, I feel honored to be chosen for so many gifted items. It tells me I'm doing something right.

So thank you, everyone I have worked with, am currently, and will in the near future as well. Thanks for accepting me as I am.

If you have a product you would like me to feature and review on this blog, please contact me via email form. **Note: Due to the number of one-sided requests I receive, I must request compensation in the form of a sample, money, etc. I delete all emails asking me to buy a product. But you can offer me a product, and I will be more than happy to do a review.

Also, I'm looking for some blogging BFFs to connect with. I've received a few emails already (thank you, I'll get back to you soon!), but BFFs don't really just happen like that.. You get to know each other over time! So if you find this post a month after I wrote it, don't think you missed out or anything, just email me. This isn't a contest, it's about meeting like-minded people.

FUCK FASHION: I Just Don't Give A Shit Anymore

Throwback from 2009 (T7N). Still love it.

There was a time when what people thought about me mattered. I was quite the people pleaser. (I still am now.... but on my own terms.) This was several years ago now, a time when my sense of self worth was dictated by the opinions of others.

Back in high school, I was a total GEEK. I tried to fit in, to be fashionable, to be liked... I wasn't very good at any of it, honestly. Boys didn't like me. Or, I should say- I was a friend, never girlfriend material.

I was going through hard times at home. I didn't have many true friends I could talk to. And to those I could, I never did, because I was afraid to admit to the hardships I was enduring. And I utterly, completely hated myself. I thought it was something I deserved.

And I wanted to die.

Eventually, I got serious about music and after 5 or so years of doing what I loved, I began learning how to love myself. I had the chance to recreate who I was, and begin living the life I felt I should have... as an artist.

It wasn't an easy task. I had to push out all the naysayers, every single person who didn't believe I had the mental capacity to decide anything for myself, let alone anything against the norm... and that was pretty much my entire family, as well as what few "friends" I had.

I met many wonderful people who taught me many wonderful things. Even though I don't get to see them often, every single person holds a special place in my heart. I have learned and grown so much because of our friendships.

Once I started learning how to produce music, many thanks to Chris (I adore you), I had released the equivalent of 3 demos, 4 albums, and 2 single releases. Not too shabby. I'm learning a skill that can serve me in many ways.

Just when I felt strong and almost on top of the world, I was attacked. Held and tortured, with the intent to kill. I won't go any further into the details. This is a touchy subject.

But the next day, I continued on with my life as if it never happened. Because, fortunately, I was thankful to be alive and that's all that mattered. Physical wounds heal. No one can truly hurt you unless you give them that power. I was alive, and happy to be so.

Today, three years and I don't care how many months/days later, I am still alive and happy.

I won't lie- I still deal with the effects of PTSD on a weekly basis. However, my brain has a funny way of blocking out dreams and bad memories (years of conditioning) to keep me sane. I am stronger now. I make a point to enjoy the little things. And I am very thankful for what good things I do have in my life.

I am going to be 28 years old in a month and 8 days. I am now finally mending fences with my mother. FINALLY I may soon be able to leave for a larger city (so many problems kept coming up over the past few years, it wasn't an option). And now, finally, NOW, I am nearing completion of "Breaking Pandora", a masterpiece 4+ years in the making... There are no words to describe what I am feeling right now. It has been a very long and difficult few years.

I've also gained other wonderful things during this time, which I am very thankful for. I found a cute artist boyfriend who adores me, and will continue to be a major supporting 'cast member' in the future of my online 'reality show'.....in a different city... This blog, after only a few short months, has earned me the opportunity to receive many wonderful gifts from several different companies. I hope to continue to partner with other brands and expand my resume. You have been very kind. I also hope to one day earn the opportunity to make this my job- to document my life, share what I'm wearing, and create art. Music. This is my dream. And I want to use it to help others as well.

At this point in my life, I know who I am and don't give a shit what anyone else thinks about me. I would only suggest considering the source before jumping to conclusions.

I'm no good at following trends, let alone keeping up with 'the latest'. But I do know what I like to wear, what I think is cool, and I wear it proudly. You see, it's not always about what you wear, but rather, how you wear it. Diversity is more widely accepted now- BE YOURSELF!

In living honestly, with yourself and everyone else, you learn to overcome the weak human ego, and discover true happiness. (Unless you truly know gratitude, everything you thought about happiness is a lie...)

Material possessions are not a means to pass judgement- they don't matter. But once you start living with a mentality of abundance, wealth just follows... Work hard every day and be thankful for everything you have. Stay humble. Try to help others. And stay true to yourself and everyone else.

And take some time to enjoy the little things- even if it's just painting your nails.

FUCK FASHION: More On Not Giving A Shit

In my last FUCK FASHION article, The Art of Not Giving a Shit, I put a lot of emphasis on being true to yourself, and others, and being the best 'you' you can be.

It doesn't matter what you look like or where you come from, what 'scene' you belong to, or how much money you spend. Being yourself is a good thing, and even if others aren't too keen on your personal style choices, it is perhaps a good way to weed out the more open minded people from those you wouldn't want to keep around.

In being different, you may receive a lot of criticism from bigots and other generally not-nice people. But those people don't matter. Fuck them and their closed minded thinking.

When you are 'real' and confident with yourself, comments from people who are less than supportive don't matter anymore. ('Who cares what that asshole thinks?') Insecure people lash out when they feel jealousy or that their personal beliefs have been threatened. Their problem isn't you- it's their insecurities at play.

You will also receive a lot of positive feedback from the less 'shady' people around you when you do your own thing. People generally show a lot of respect for those who aren't afraid to be themselves, especially because many of them don't have the guts to stand out on their own. These people tend to be very supportive.

Then again, if you really 'don't give a shit', it doesn't matter what people say or think. But positive reinforcement is a wonderful thing.

Don't be afraid to be yourself, because you're going to face criticism no matter what you do. You don't need to live your life in fear of what people will say or think if you're 'different'. 'Haters gonna hate' regardless.

So make it easy on yourself- BE YOU. At least you won't be living a lie.

FUCK FASHION: The Art of Not Giving a Shit

Tattoos aren't everyone's cup of tea,
but that doesn't make me 'ugly' or a
'bad person'. I just express myself a
little differently. If you don't like it,
that's your problem, not mine.

You read it right- the art of not giving a shit.

I think everything I have to say on this topic revolves around having confidence in yourself, so if you have some issues you need to work out, I suggest you read this article.

No matter who you are or where you come from, you will have to face some sort of criticism throughout your entire life. Whether it comes from someone else, or we're our own worst critics, we have to know when to take it as constructive criticism or ignore it altogether. Consider the source.

When you stop worrying about what others think, and be true to yourself and those around you, you are free to be who you are.

If people can't accept you for how you dress and/or what you look like, maybe those aren't the kind of people you want to associate with. The same goes if those around you don't support your love of photography, or traveling, etc. You need to surround yourself with like-minded people who will encourage you to live your dreams, and don't waste your time with the negative ones who will hold you back.

Know your boundaries and stick with them. You must have some sort of personal morals that you live by, a sense of what's right and wrong for you. Listen to your gut feeling. Don't let yourself be pressured into something you really don't want to do.

Wear what makes you happy. You don't have to be trendy to be liked and considered stylish. Clothing trends change quickly, and are often inspired by some random person in the street who wore something that sparked an idea. 'Fashionable' is only a matter of opinion. The only definite in personal style is YOU. As long as you know and are confident with who you are, it doesn't matter what you wear.

Focus on being the best 'you' you can be, and stop worrying about what you are not. You can't please everyone, and it's not worth trying. Just get out there and do what you do best!

Self Image, Lovers, Haters, and Your Personal Thought Process

I won't lie- I'm not one of those lucky people who were born into money, the fashion industry, etc. And in all reality, I'm glad I wasn't. Sure, that means I have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition of someone more privileged, but that also means that with my successes, I am going to feel more accomplished and inspired, as opposed to 'I'm famous because I have money, so I deserve every like, comment, and vote.' And it's very humbling.

I work hard every day to do what I do, and I enjoy every minute of it. I do still view myself as 'privileged' in a way, because I do have a life that others only wish they had. But I busted my ass, and continue to do so, for it. That's what a lot of people don't realize- I work incredibly hard at what I do. It wasn't just given to me. And I'd rather have it that way.

I didn't always have a great outlook on myself and life, I spent much of my later childhood into early adulthood severely depressed, eating disordered, and suicidal. There you go, it's out in the open now.

I spent a good bit of my life thus far knowing that most everyone around me was fake, and I thought I was the crazy one. I literally drove myself insane, thinking I already was because I was different. I didn't realize that being different was a very wonderful thing to be, because I didn't have people around me who supported that idea. I didn't have many friends. I spent so much time trying to live up to someone else's idea of 'beautiful' and 'amazing', because I had no vision myself. And it nearly killed me. Several times. In fact, it's a miracle I'm still alive today, all things considered.

And to think, it all stemmed from the fact that no one understood brilliant when they saw it. They would rather put someone else down than compliment them.

I understand all of this now, and chose a life against the grain, challenging social norms and doing just the opposite of what is 'acceptable'.

It took a while for my family to understand that I just can't be what they want- 10 years so far! I am my own person, I think for myself, I choose how to decorate my body, and there is nothing wrong with that. They are now beginning to realize that this is not a phase I'm going through, this is who I am, and it is wrong to preach. Positive feedback from others in the local and online communities helps a lot too.

It was both simple and difficult to reach a better, healthier, self loving mindset. It is merely a choice, a decision to be happy and find the beauty in the little things, and stand by that no matter what. You have to keep your eyes focused on the goal - happiness - and work towards it every day. Do not put positive habits off til tomorrow. That doesn't help you today. This simple decision and endurance of mind is what it takes to overcome negative thinking. No one can help you until you are willing to help yourself.

Now with that said, take some time to think, what can you do to help yourself and lead a more loving, fulfilling life?

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Ich will nicht lügen, ich bin nicht einer jener glücklichen Menschen, die in Geld geboren wurden, die Mode-Industrie, etc. Und in aller Wirklichkeit, ich bin froh, dass ich nicht war. Sicher, das heißt, ich muss doppelt so hart arbeiten, um die Hälfte der Anerkennung von jemandem mehr privilegiert zu bekommen, aber das bedeutet auch, dass mit meinen Erfolgen, ich werde das Gefühl mehr erreicht und inspiriert, wie zu "Ich bin dagegen, weil ich berühmt Geld haben, so wie ich es verdiene jeden, Kommentar und Stimme. ' Und es ist sehr demütigend.

Ich arbeite hart jeden Tag zu tun, was ich tue, und ich genieße jede Minute davon. Ich weiß immer noch sehen mich als 'privilegierte' in einer Weise, denn ich habe ein Leben, das andere nur wünschen, sie hätten. Aber ich kaputt meinen Arsch, und dies auch weiterhin tun, denn es. Das ist, was viele Leute nicht wissen, ich arbeite sehr hart, was ich tue. Es war nicht nur mir gegeben. Und ich würde es lieber so.

Ich habe nicht immer eine tolle Aussicht auf mich und das Leben, verbrachte ich viel von meiner späteren Kindheit bis ins frühe Erwachsenenalter schwer depressiv, Eßstörungen und selbstmörderisch. Dort gehen Sie, ist es in der jetzt offen.

Ich habe ein gutes Stück von meinem Leben bisher zu wissen, dass fast jeder um mich herum war gefälscht, und ich dachte, ich wäre der Verrückte. Ich habe buchstäblich fuhr mich verrückt, dachte ich schon, weil ich anders war. Mir war nicht bewusst, dass, anders war eine wunderbare Sache zu sein, weil ich nicht die Menschen um mich herum, die diese Idee unterstützt. Ich habe nicht viele Freunde. Ich habe so viel Zeit damit zu leben, bis jemand anderes die Idee der "schönen" und "erstaunlich", weil ich keine Vision hatte ich. Und es hat mich fast umgebracht. Mehrmals. In der Tat, es ist ein Wunder, dass ich noch am Leben bin heute ist, alles in allem.

Und zu denken, es ergab sich aus der Tatsache, dass niemand brillant verstanden werden, wenn sie es sahen. Sie würden lieber setzen jemand anderes sich als Kompliment ihnen.

Ich verstehe das alles jetzt, und wählte ein Leben gegen den Strich, herausfordernde soziale Normen und tut genau das Gegenteil von dem, was ist "akzeptabel".

Es dauerte eine Weile, um meine Familie zu verstehen, dass ich einfach nicht so weit sein, was sie wollen-10 Jahren! Ich bin meine eigene Person, die ich für mich denke, wähle ich, wie mein Körper schmücken, und es ist nichts falsch mit dem. Sie beginnen nun zu erkennen, dass dies nicht eine Phase I durchlaufen bin, ist dies, wer ich bin, und es ist falsch, zu predigen. Positives Feedback von anderen in der lokalen und Online-Communities hilft auch viel.

Es war einfach und schwierig, eine bessere, gesündere, selbst liebevolle Haltung zu erreichen. Es ist nur eine Wahl, eine Entscheidung, glücklich zu sein und finden die Schönheit in den kleinen Dingen, und stehen, egal was. Sie müssen halten Sie die Augen konzentriert auf das Ziel - Glück - und arbeiten an es jeden Tag. Legen Sie keine positive Gewohnheiten off til morgen. Das hilft Ihnen nicht heute. Diese einfache Entscheidung und Ausdauer des Geistes ist, was es zu negativen Denkens überwinden müsste. Niemand kann Ihnen helfen, bis Sie bereit sind, sich zu helfen.

Jetzt mit dieser sagte, nehmen Sie sich etwas Zeit, um nachzudenken, was können Sie tun, um sich selbst zu helfen und führen ein liebevoller, erfülltes Leben?

Thoughts On Being Yourself

Let's get this straight before we get started- I do not understand the concept of "fitting in", because I have never really "fit in" anywhere in particular. I'm used to being that weirdo outcast girl. How I view this topic is mostly based on speculation, and when you think about it, that's all anyone can do- because, even though we do have our social habits and patterns, trends and interests tend to change too quickly to allow for a 'textbook definition'.

I often hear that "being different takes guts". It's hard to stand up against social norms and put yourself out there for criticism.

But I don't see it- you're going to face criticism no matter what you do, wherever you go, and what you look like. Not everyone is going to like you all the time. This is a fact of life. Get over it.

Yes, the criticism is more apparent when you look different. People judge first by appearances. It happens. But perhaps it should be thought more of as social conditioning, because if you were too shy to put yourself out there in the first place, maybe there are some inner issues you need to work out. Not caring what others think about how you look is a sign of confidence (or in rare cases, delusion).

Every woman should be able to dress herself how she wants, with no concern for the judgement of others, and walk through her day with confidence, knowing that she is unique and beautiful.

Don't be afraid to be different. Learning to overcome mental blocks and other obstacles is all part of growing into a bigger, better, more wonderful person. Embrace the things that make you 'YOU'.

Surround yourself with other wonderful, positive, helpful, supportive people who inspire you, and dump those who do not. Do not waste your time on those who put you down and bring problems- they are of no help to you and will only continue to bring you down. Get away from that! Get yourself to a happy, healthy place.

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Lassen Sie uns dieses gerade bekommen, bevor wir begannen, verstehe ich nicht, das Konzept der "Montage in" bekommen, weil ich nie wirklich irgendwo insbesondere "passen". Ich bin zu sein, dass Weirdo Ausgestoßenen Mädchen verwendet. Wie sehe ich dieses Thema ist vor allem auf Spekulationen stützen, und wenn man darüber nachdenkt, das ist alles, jeder kann tun-da, obwohl wir haben unsere sozialen Gewohnheiten und Muster, Trends und Interessen neigen dazu, zu schnell ändern, um für eine erlauben 'Lehrbuch Definition ".

Ich höre oft, dass "Anderssein braucht Mut". Es ist schwer, sich gegen gesellschaftliche Normen und versetzen Sie sich da draußen für Kritik.

Aber ich sehe es nicht-du gehst auf die Kritik, egal was du tust, wo immer Sie sind konfrontiert, und wie du aussiehst. Nicht jeder wird wie du die ganze Zeit. Dies ist eine Tatsache des Lebens. Get over it.

Ja, das ist die Kritik noch deutlicher, wenn man anders aussehen. Die Menschen beurteilen zunächst durch Auftritte. Es passiert. Aber vielleicht sollte es mehr als soziale Konditionierung gedacht werden, denn wenn man zu schüchtern, um sich da draußen in den ersten Platz waren, vielleicht gibt es einige innere Probleme, die Sie brauchen, um herauszufinden, sind. Nicht darum kümmern, was andere darüber, wie man sich denken, ist ein Zeichen des Vertrauens (oder in seltenen Fällen, Wahn).


Jede Frau sollte in der Lage sein, sich kleiden, wie sie will, ohne Rücksicht auf das Urteil der anderen, und gehen Sie durch ihren Tag mit Vertrauen, zu wissen, dass sie einzigartig und schön ist.

Haben Sie keine Angst, anders zu sein. Lernen, mentale Blockaden und andere Hindernisse zu überwinden ist alles Teil des Erwachsenwerdens in ein größeres, besser, wunderbarer Mensch. Umfassen Sie die Dinge, die du "du" zu machen.

Umgeben Sie sich mit anderen wunderbaren, positiv, hilfreich, unterstützend Menschen, die Sie inspirieren und werfen diejenigen, die dies nicht tun. Vergeuden Sie nicht Ihre Zeit auf diejenigen, die Sie legte und Probleme mit sich bringen, sie sind keine Hilfe für Sie und nur Sie auch weiterhin zu senken. Raus aus, dass! Holen Sie sich zu einem glücklichen, gesunden Ort.

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让我们直在我们开始之前，我不明白，“装修”的概念，因为我从来没有真正“适合”在任何地方特别。我用成为那个怪人弃儿女孩。我如何看待这个话题大多是基于对投机，和你认为它时，那是所有的人可以做的，因为，尽管我们也有我们的社会习惯和模式，趋势和利益往往以改变太快允许一个'教科书定义。

我经常听到“不同需要勇气”。这是很难站起来反对社会规范，并把自己在那里批评。

但我没有看到它，你将要面对的批评，不管你做什么，无论你走到哪里，你是什么样子。不是每个人都喜欢你所有的时间。这是一个不争的事实。获取权。

是的，批评是更加明显，当你看到不同。人们判断首先出场。它发生。不过，或许它应该被认为是更多的社会调理，因为如果你太害羞了，把自己在那里摆在首位，也许有一些内在的问题，你需要的工作。不关心别人怎么想你怎么看待，是信心的标志（或在极少数情况下，妄想）。


每个女人都应该打扮自己，她是怎么想的，不关心别人的判断，穿行有信心，知道她的日子，她是独特而美丽。

不要害怕与众不同。学习，克服心理障碍和其他障碍的一部分，成长为一个更大，更好，更精彩的人。拥抱，让你'你'的事情。

环绕自己与其他美好的，积极的，有益的，支持的人谁启发你和转储那些谁不。不要浪费你的时间，这些人把你放下带来的问题，他们是对你毫无帮助，只会继续为您带来。远离！让自己快乐，健康的地方。