Haters Gonna Hate. No Sweat Off My Ass!

Those who know me know that I'm probably one of the nicest, most down to earth, fun and drama-free people they'll ever meet. 

But this post isn't about them. It's about the haters. 

Don't get me wrong here- I really don't spend a lot of time on negativity. But, sometimes, shit just happens.

I have a "hate club", and honestly, I LOVE IT.

I'd rather be ostracized for what I have to say about the world around me, than ignored for not having anything worth listening to.

Why?

Because that means I'm making a difference. Retaliation [however unintelligent] means I'm hitting the nail on the head, for lack of a better analogy. I'm sparking emotions, and getting a rise out of people, and that's the best thing an artist can do- inspire. That's my job.

Hate me if you will, all too often because I speak the truth.

People are intimidated by that- truth and intelligence [especially if you're fairly attractive]. Some will tell lies to hide their faces. Some will retaliate. But these people don't matter in the least. As long as you're honest and a good person, they can't take you down. No one can hurt you unless you give them that power [and unkind people don't deserve that privilege].

Fear not- stand tall and keep doing what you do. Those who DO matter will show it [and worthwhile friendships can be built on this].

I have so many wonderful friends who support me in everything I do, and I am so thankful for that. I've met so many great people along the way, and am always meeting more. Often the good ones are few and far between, but this makes me appreciate them that much more. <3

The "hate club" can go fuck themselves for all I care. I know I'm making a difference, and that's all that matters. Glad to know I'm doing a good job! 

What "Style" Is, And Isn't

Style isn't... 

...about following the latest fads. 

...wearing only designer labels. 

...what other people tell you is 'cool'. 

...starving yourself. 

...trying to look like celebrities. 

...copying others. 

Style is... 

...being yourself. 

...getting to know who you are. 

...experimenting with new things. 

...wearing what YOU like. 

...not caring what the world thinks. 

...confidence. 

...LOVING YOURSELF! 

Be true to yourself and the world around you. 

It doesn't matter what others think, only what YOU feel about yourself. 

Stand tall and dare to be different. <3 

Holidays And Body Issues

Body issues...

A lot of girls (and guys) have them. I have them. You probably have them too.

I was eating disordered for several years, and I still have issues from time to time now. That doesn't mean I'm going to start starving myself again, but I do suffer from a poor self image now and then. I get depressed.

Now is the time it's at its worst- the holiday season.

For many of us, it starts with Thanksgiving. (Some start at Halloween, binging on candy.) Once we devour all those leftovers (hello, gluttony), we keep going, and continue our eating patterns through Christmas (or whatever holidays you celebrate) dinners, and as we're nearing the new year, we've gained weight and feel huge and disgusting. A lot of women make resolutions to lose weight, but we all know no one ever really keeps their resolutions...

I know, I know... You're probably thinking, who the hell is she to be discussing weight issues?? She's not even 120 lbs!

But I'll tell you a secret- it really doesn't matter how large or small you are. Women of all sizes deal with poor self image.

For me, it's my belly.

I don't have much there. And many would say I'm pretty well toned. But that's not how I see it.

Inside, I'm feeling, I'm not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not successful... It's horrible!

But, I think, it's how you handle it that makes the difference.

Today, I'm bloated and feeling gross. But I'm not hiding behind an oversized hoodie today. NO! Not only did I take a photo of my bare midriff (and some underboob!), I am about to wear a form-fitting sweater and not give a shit what you or anyone else thinks about me.

I am going to dress myself with confidence and take on Black Friday afternoon with attitude!

FUCK FASHION: More On Not Giving A Shit

In my last FUCK FASHION article, The Art of Not Giving a Shit, I put a lot of emphasis on being true to yourself, and others, and being the best 'you' you can be.

It doesn't matter what you look like or where you come from, what 'scene' you belong to, or how much money you spend. Being yourself is a good thing, and even if others aren't too keen on your personal style choices, it is perhaps a good way to weed out the more open minded people from those you wouldn't want to keep around.

In being different, you may receive a lot of criticism from bigots and other generally not-nice people. But those people don't matter. Fuck them and their closed minded thinking.

When you are 'real' and confident with yourself, comments from people who are less than supportive don't matter anymore. ('Who cares what that asshole thinks?') Insecure people lash out when they feel jealousy or that their personal beliefs have been threatened. Their problem isn't you- it's their insecurities at play.

You will also receive a lot of positive feedback from the less 'shady' people around you when you do your own thing. People generally show a lot of respect for those who aren't afraid to be themselves, especially because many of them don't have the guts to stand out on their own. These people tend to be very supportive.

Then again, if you really 'don't give a shit', it doesn't matter what people say or think. But positive reinforcement is a wonderful thing.

Don't be afraid to be yourself, because you're going to face criticism no matter what you do. You don't need to live your life in fear of what people will say or think if you're 'different'. 'Haters gonna hate' regardless.

So make it easy on yourself- BE YOU. At least you won't be living a lie.

FUCK FASHION: The Art of Not Giving a Shit

Tattoos aren't everyone's cup of tea,
but that doesn't make me 'ugly' or a
'bad person'. I just express myself a
little differently. If you don't like it,
that's your problem, not mine.

You read it right- the art of not giving a shit.

I think everything I have to say on this topic revolves around having confidence in yourself, so if you have some issues you need to work out, I suggest you read this article.

No matter who you are or where you come from, you will have to face some sort of criticism throughout your entire life. Whether it comes from someone else, or we're our own worst critics, we have to know when to take it as constructive criticism or ignore it altogether. Consider the source.

When you stop worrying about what others think, and be true to yourself and those around you, you are free to be who you are.

If people can't accept you for how you dress and/or what you look like, maybe those aren't the kind of people you want to associate with. The same goes if those around you don't support your love of photography, or traveling, etc. You need to surround yourself with like-minded people who will encourage you to live your dreams, and don't waste your time with the negative ones who will hold you back.

Know your boundaries and stick with them. You must have some sort of personal morals that you live by, a sense of what's right and wrong for you. Listen to your gut feeling. Don't let yourself be pressured into something you really don't want to do.

Wear what makes you happy. You don't have to be trendy to be liked and considered stylish. Clothing trends change quickly, and are often inspired by some random person in the street who wore something that sparked an idea. 'Fashionable' is only a matter of opinion. The only definite in personal style is YOU. As long as you know and are confident with who you are, it doesn't matter what you wear.

Focus on being the best 'you' you can be, and stop worrying about what you are not. You can't please everyone, and it's not worth trying. Just get out there and do what you do best!

FUCK FASHION: It Starts With Confidence

You want to know the secret to looking absolutely stunning?

It's CONFIDENCE.

Not the "in" shoes, bag, sunglasses, jacket, etc.. Not the most expensive perfume you can afford. And, believe it or not, it certainly isn't money.

CONFIDENCE.

Not to be confused with egotism, confidence is that awesome state of being that improves your posture, and you smile more, and tend to have a great attitude- people generally want to be around you. No matter what you're wearing, you will never truly be able to look amazing without confidence.

I know, it doesn't come easy for everyone.

A lot of people struggle with self esteem. You may be too short, too fat, have a big nose, have bad skin, have suffered injuries, diseases/disorders, etc. You may have been teased or beaten up a lot. You may still be harassed today. But I can tell you something-

You CAN change that.

When you stop dwelling on the negative things, and focus on the positive, your mindset will begin to change. This shift will help you to bring out the good things in yourself, and start working toward happiness.

Accept and learn to laugh at your flaws. We've all got them, and the only thing that truly matters is how we handle our own. When we are confident, we are less likely to get caught up in our insecurities and make it 'weird', and that's less awkwardness for us to deal with. It takes practice interacting with people, but in time, after various successes in facing your fears, you will start to gain confidence in yourself.

Get away from those who bring you down. You want to surround yourself with caring, supportive people who encourage you to be your best every day. If you are in a bad life situation, get yourself out of there immediately. There is always help if you need it. Your environment, and the people in it, have a very strong influence on your emotions.

Do what YOU want to do. Do you dream of working for yourself? Traveling the world? Being a writer? Then do it! You can if you put your mind to it. Set both long and short term goals and do something every day to achieve them. Your hard work WILL pay off, you will have learned much from the journey, and you will be doing something that makes you happy.

Take some time for yourself. When you're having a hard time emotionally, find some time to go to the spa to unwind (or soak in the tub for a while), or paint, or go hiking, or whatever you like to do to get away from the stresses of the world. You need that time to get yourself back to a positive mindset. Positivity is everything!

Once you have found confidence in who you are and what is important to you, you won't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about what you're wearing.

Dress for YOU. Wear the things that flatter your assets and make you feel beautiful. Carry yourself with confidence. And SMILE!

That, my friends, is the key to looking absolutely stunning- CONFIDENCE!

Self Image, Lovers, Haters, and Your Personal Thought Process

I won't lie- I'm not one of those lucky people who were born into money, the fashion industry, etc. And in all reality, I'm glad I wasn't. Sure, that means I have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition of someone more privileged, but that also means that with my successes, I am going to feel more accomplished and inspired, as opposed to 'I'm famous because I have money, so I deserve every like, comment, and vote.' And it's very humbling.

I work hard every day to do what I do, and I enjoy every minute of it. I do still view myself as 'privileged' in a way, because I do have a life that others only wish they had. But I busted my ass, and continue to do so, for it. That's what a lot of people don't realize- I work incredibly hard at what I do. It wasn't just given to me. And I'd rather have it that way.

I didn't always have a great outlook on myself and life, I spent much of my later childhood into early adulthood severely depressed, eating disordered, and suicidal. There you go, it's out in the open now.

I spent a good bit of my life thus far knowing that most everyone around me was fake, and I thought I was the crazy one. I literally drove myself insane, thinking I already was because I was different. I didn't realize that being different was a very wonderful thing to be, because I didn't have people around me who supported that idea. I didn't have many friends. I spent so much time trying to live up to someone else's idea of 'beautiful' and 'amazing', because I had no vision myself. And it nearly killed me. Several times. In fact, it's a miracle I'm still alive today, all things considered.

And to think, it all stemmed from the fact that no one understood brilliant when they saw it. They would rather put someone else down than compliment them.

I understand all of this now, and chose a life against the grain, challenging social norms and doing just the opposite of what is 'acceptable'.

It took a while for my family to understand that I just can't be what they want- 10 years so far! I am my own person, I think for myself, I choose how to decorate my body, and there is nothing wrong with that. They are now beginning to realize that this is not a phase I'm going through, this is who I am, and it is wrong to preach. Positive feedback from others in the local and online communities helps a lot too.

It was both simple and difficult to reach a better, healthier, self loving mindset. It is merely a choice, a decision to be happy and find the beauty in the little things, and stand by that no matter what. You have to keep your eyes focused on the goal - happiness - and work towards it every day. Do not put positive habits off til tomorrow. That doesn't help you today. This simple decision and endurance of mind is what it takes to overcome negative thinking. No one can help you until you are willing to help yourself.

Now with that said, take some time to think, what can you do to help yourself and lead a more loving, fulfilling life?

* * * * *


Ich will nicht lügen, ich bin nicht einer jener glücklichen Menschen, die in Geld geboren wurden, die Mode-Industrie, etc. Und in aller Wirklichkeit, ich bin froh, dass ich nicht war. Sicher, das heißt, ich muss doppelt so hart arbeiten, um die Hälfte der Anerkennung von jemandem mehr privilegiert zu bekommen, aber das bedeutet auch, dass mit meinen Erfolgen, ich werde das Gefühl mehr erreicht und inspiriert, wie zu "Ich bin dagegen, weil ich berühmt Geld haben, so wie ich es verdiene jeden, Kommentar und Stimme. ' Und es ist sehr demütigend.

Ich arbeite hart jeden Tag zu tun, was ich tue, und ich genieße jede Minute davon. Ich weiß immer noch sehen mich als 'privilegierte' in einer Weise, denn ich habe ein Leben, das andere nur wünschen, sie hätten. Aber ich kaputt meinen Arsch, und dies auch weiterhin tun, denn es. Das ist, was viele Leute nicht wissen, ich arbeite sehr hart, was ich tue. Es war nicht nur mir gegeben. Und ich würde es lieber so.

Ich habe nicht immer eine tolle Aussicht auf mich und das Leben, verbrachte ich viel von meiner späteren Kindheit bis ins frühe Erwachsenenalter schwer depressiv, Eßstörungen und selbstmörderisch. Dort gehen Sie, ist es in der jetzt offen.

Ich habe ein gutes Stück von meinem Leben bisher zu wissen, dass fast jeder um mich herum war gefälscht, und ich dachte, ich wäre der Verrückte. Ich habe buchstäblich fuhr mich verrückt, dachte ich schon, weil ich anders war. Mir war nicht bewusst, dass, anders war eine wunderbare Sache zu sein, weil ich nicht die Menschen um mich herum, die diese Idee unterstützt. Ich habe nicht viele Freunde. Ich habe so viel Zeit damit zu leben, bis jemand anderes die Idee der "schönen" und "erstaunlich", weil ich keine Vision hatte ich. Und es hat mich fast umgebracht. Mehrmals. In der Tat, es ist ein Wunder, dass ich noch am Leben bin heute ist, alles in allem.

Und zu denken, es ergab sich aus der Tatsache, dass niemand brillant verstanden werden, wenn sie es sahen. Sie würden lieber setzen jemand anderes sich als Kompliment ihnen.

Ich verstehe das alles jetzt, und wählte ein Leben gegen den Strich, herausfordernde soziale Normen und tut genau das Gegenteil von dem, was ist "akzeptabel".

Es dauerte eine Weile, um meine Familie zu verstehen, dass ich einfach nicht so weit sein, was sie wollen-10 Jahren! Ich bin meine eigene Person, die ich für mich denke, wähle ich, wie mein Körper schmücken, und es ist nichts falsch mit dem. Sie beginnen nun zu erkennen, dass dies nicht eine Phase I durchlaufen bin, ist dies, wer ich bin, und es ist falsch, zu predigen. Positives Feedback von anderen in der lokalen und Online-Communities hilft auch viel.

Es war einfach und schwierig, eine bessere, gesündere, selbst liebevolle Haltung zu erreichen. Es ist nur eine Wahl, eine Entscheidung, glücklich zu sein und finden die Schönheit in den kleinen Dingen, und stehen, egal was. Sie müssen halten Sie die Augen konzentriert auf das Ziel - Glück - und arbeiten an es jeden Tag. Legen Sie keine positive Gewohnheiten off til morgen. Das hilft Ihnen nicht heute. Diese einfache Entscheidung und Ausdauer des Geistes ist, was es zu negativen Denkens überwinden müsste. Niemand kann Ihnen helfen, bis Sie bereit sind, sich zu helfen.

Jetzt mit dieser sagte, nehmen Sie sich etwas Zeit, um nachzudenken, was können Sie tun, um sich selbst zu helfen und führen ein liebevoller, erfülltes Leben?