THIS BLOG HAS MOVED!

Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Sunday, July 27, 2014

What Is "Perfect", Anyway?

Every day I see people [women, especially] comparing themselves to other bloggers, models, celebrities, etc. I see countless comments on my friends' photos saying, "perfection", "gorgeous", "so jelly".... Too many of them spend countless hours looking at photos of other people living out their fabulous lives, and wishing their own were better. 

And I can't, for the life of me, understand why they spend so much time and energy living vicariously through 'perfect' people they [probably] don't even know, instead of creating their own version of 'fabulous'... 

What is "perfect", anyway? 

fuck perfect

"Perfect" is merely an idea, a vision, and a false one at that. It's a badge that people pin to others they deem 'better' than themselves, for whatever reason- beauty, lifestyle, etc. It's an excuse for them to think poorly of themselves, and not strive for more, for happiness. 

What they don't realize [even if they say they do] is that "perfection" is impossible. There is no "perfect". Nobody is perfect, no one has a perfect life, and no one can ever achieve perfection in anything they do. It's all in their heads. 

Fuck "perfect"!  

"Perfection" is a lie we tell ourselves to [subconsciously] make us feel like shit, and keep us from striving to reach our full potential. So let's just throw that word right in the trash. Erase it from your vocabulary. 

And if you find yourself dwelling on how fabulous someone else's life is, and feeling shitty about your own, turn off your computer and go do something! 

Our lives are what we make of them- no more, no less. And they're just that- ours. 

Who cares what our famous internet 'friends' are doing at any given moment? They don't dictate your life, so why are you giving their images [of all things] that kind of power over you? You're only making excuses not to do anything with yourself. 

You CAN have the kind of life you've always dreamt of, but only if you stop limiting yourself with negative thinking. 

We have to learn to love and believe in ourselves before all else. So what if our lives suck right now? With positive thinking and positive action, we can completely turn it around. 

If you stop dwelling on how "perfect" everything is for others, and putting yourself down, and instead, focus on all the good things in our lives [great weather, good mood, awesome food, whatever..], things WILL start getting better. Positive thinking leads to positive action, followed by positive reaction from the world.... 

[Some of my financially poorest years led me to become rich in mind and spirit.]

<3 Change your mind, change your life. <3 

And above all else, FORGET ABOUT PERFECTION ALREADY! 

Friday, April 18, 2014

A Lesson In Wearing High Heels


What I'm wearing:
top - Charlotte Russe | - jeans - Lovesick | boots - Mossimo
beanie - unknown | necklace - Claire's | jacket - Miss London

photo taken with HTC One for Boost Mobile


I love these boots. I found them on a clearance rack at Target a few years ago for $10. 

But today, I hate them. My own fault. LOL I walked entirely too far in them, without having really worn high heels for an extended time since Halloween. Bad idea to brave them for maybe a total of 2 miles today! That's something you have to work up to. My ankles were shot by the time I got home. Holy shit. 

My poor little (big) feet are blistered on the bottom, which was horrible when I ran to catch a bus at one point in the day. But I think the main reason behind all the issues (other than lack of 'practice' lately) is the need for inserts beneath the balls of my feet. Other than that, they're wonderful. 

Learn from my mistakes: 

(1) 
Walking in high heels is something that is built up over time- you can't just throw on a pair of 5 inch heels and expect to walk in them right away. You have to build up the muscles in your feet and ankles especially, as well as your legs and butt. (Yup, that's right- walking in heels give you a great butt.) These things take time and practice, and before you know it, you'll be wearing them all day.

(2)
Inserts, inserts, inserts! I have a formula for this:
[hight of heels] x [time x distance] = [importance of custom orthotics]
Your feet are extremely important. Not having the proper support can do much more than give you blisters- it can affect your hips, back, neck, etc. So use inserts in the shoes that need them, no excuses!

(3)
If your feet are a little sore now, just wait til later... Always take note of how your shoes feel before you leave the house. Don't wait until the last second to put on a pair of shoes that you're unsure of. Wear them a little while first, so you get the feel of them early, and this gives you time to change if need be. 

Monday, March 3, 2014

My Thoughts On Photoshopping [For Style Bloggers]

FYI, what I am about to say in this article is not directed at fashion publishing, advertising, etc., this article is aimed directly at personal style bloggers who Photoshop their images. Not the photographers they may work with (those photos are products of the photographer, not the model(s), and this does not apply), but the photos they took themselves, or had enlisted the help of a friend or significant other, blah blah blah..

Girls, seriously, stop Photoshopping yourselves to look like a fashion model clone in every single photo you post online.

When it comes to personal style blogging, you are sharing your personal style. This includes the dilemmas of bad skin days, and fat days, and my-hair-hates-me days, etc. Don't tell me you don't have those days, because everyone has them. These are very 'human' things, and are also things your readers can relate to.

I'll be the first to tell you- I'm suffering from a huge breakout at the moment. Yes, I have skin problems. But you won't see me Photoshopping my imperfections out of my photos, especially when I'm keeping a diary of my life- an acne breakout is a part of my life... This is a small example.

I've heard of girls who not only routinely edit their skin and hair, but also make themselves look thinner- stomach, thighs, etc. And I'm appalled.

Style blogging isn't about changing your image to look like a high fashion model, but rather, showing off who you really are, the person that people admire (even if you don't see it right now). Not everyone is going to like their body 100%, but the old adage is true- it really is what's on the inside that matters. It does take some time for people to accept this, generally speaking, but it's a necessary realization.

I think, as a style blogger, it's more about creation of character, much as an actor would, but the character is your actual self. You can be anything you want to be, as long as you have the faith in yourself and your means. We all have our little quirks and imperfections, and it's up to us to accept them as a part of who we are, and still go on, being the best we can be.

And if you're so worried about being the "perfect blogger" to appeal to brands, think again-

Look at me- pretty much everything about me goes against what society views as 'beautiful'- I have many tattoos and piercings, a masculine haircut, I cuss like a sailor, make terrible [terribly awesome?] sounds with my keyboard and guitar, and you're more likely to see me in black skate sneakers than high heels. And yet, somehow, the vast majority of people view me as beautiful. And I'm doing just fine as far as brand partnerships go, BTW...

Why is this?

I don't give a shit. That's it. I don't care what people think about me, or how I look, or what I do. I know I'm doing what I need to be doing right now, and that's what matters. It's about confidence and not doing what society mindlessly tells you to do, when your gut is telling you what's really right for you.

I don't take myself, or life, too seriously.

Be yourself, and don't be ashamed of who you are. If you are doing good things and always being honest [with yourself, as well as others], you have nothing to feel guilty about. Stop beating yourself up, and be the best 'you' you can be! It doesn't matter what you look like- don't hide yourself away from the world!

Stand up straight and always carry yourself with confidence, even at times when you seem to be lacking. Write about the things you feel strongly about. Focus on your best physical assets (and stop kicking yourself over the ones you don't like! No one really cares!). 

Be good to yourself. Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Take some time to pamper yourself, as well as being alone and quiet, and being at one with your intuition. Feed yourself well (but refrain from overeating), and focus on being healthy. Get to know and love who you are, and be kind to yourself. 

That's it. That's all that really matters. Once you learn how to love yourself, you can finally learn how to truly love others. The rest kind of falls into place on its own... 

...And you won't care about Photoshopping your images. Seriously. 

When you stop caring about what others think about how you look, and are proud to be who you are, Photoshopping a tiny blemish that people really don't give a crap about seems trivial and unnecessary. The same goes for making your thighs thinner and your belly smaller or your boobs bigger. It just doesn't matter. What does matter is that you are a great person and have something good you can bring to the world. Do what you love the most, and don't worry about the naysayers. 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

My Advice To Aspiring Pro Bloggers


**I originally wrote this article back in 2009, and it's kind of surprising how relevant it still is today.. I've thrown in some updates too (starred and italicized).** 

* * * 

It's funny how widespread this pro blogging dream has grown over the years. It seems like it was just yesterday that word came out about bloggers earning a full time income online, and suddenly hundreds, then thousands, and now maybe millions of people are trying to do it, too. (I don't know how many, to be exact. I was never one for statistics.)

And it kills me to think that so many people are under the impression that they can create a blog, update it, plaster ads all over the place, and make money.. Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it, don't get me wrong here. But really, do you have any idea how difficult it is?

I have been blogging for several years now. **Over a decade!** I have created many blogs, and abandoned half of them for various reasons, which I'll get into later. While I am not considered an A-lister by any means, I do make money from my blogging, and have learned a LOT. And of course, I continue to learn new things every day.

Here's a long list of things I feel must be said about this topic:

1) Why do you want to be a pro blogger?

I have to ask you this before I continue, because it is the most important of all. Why do you want to blog professionally? What reasons, other than money, do you have?

Would you do it for no pay? Because let's face it- it is incredibly difficult to earn a living from a blog alone. Would you be willing to put in the time and effort required to create a popular blog, with a high possibility of your plan failing? Would you take what you've learned and try again? And again? Does it mean that much to you?

2) Know what you want to achieve.

What do you want to achieve with your blog(s)? Are your goals realistic?

3) Understand that blogging isn't easy..

I don't care how many people say it is, or who they are for that matter, it really isn't as easy as it's made out to be. In order to be "successful" as a blogger (Success takes on many forms- it depends on your goals, so I'm being very general here), you usually are required to treat your blog as a full time job.

Many people have a full time job already, and must keep it in order to pay the bills. Now, to go from that to blogging full time, it's usually necessary to invest a similar amount of time into your blog in addition to your job. And if you have a family and kids to take care of, well, that's another full time job in itself. What a burden. Most people cannot do it.

However, there are quite a few whose life situations match up nicely with a career in blogging. I am one of them. The number of unemployed people is pretty high where I live, and it's hard to get what most would call a "real job". I have dedicated much of my time away from "real work" to blogging, as well as my various music projects. Each of my career goals supports the other, and I am working hard to build my future. **I have had a few other jobs since writing this article. I currently work at a tattoo shop (however out right now due to health issues), I blog every day, make music, and when something interesting comes along, paranormal investigation. Oh, how life has changed over the years!** 

And it definitely isn't easy.

There are many days when I don't get paid. Then there are days when my financial situation is looking fantastic. And you never know for sure what's going to happen next. It's scary sometimes. But I love what I do, and honestly feel that it will work out in my favor one of these days. **It looks better every day.. I still have my ups and downs, but looking back, I've come a long way.** 

4) ..And there is no "happy ending". Not for a while, at least.

Like I said, the results of your blogging will vary from day to day. You have to keep working hard at what you're doing, despite the "bad days", which are bound to happen every now and then.

In addition to that, you must understand that the blogosphere is constantly changing. It's important to keep up with the current times, as well as push to improve beyond that. Never stop learning. Never stop trying new things. Take everything you've learned and use it to push beyond your current limitations. Break new ground. As a blogger, your job is never-ending.

5) You learn through trial and error.

You will make many mistakes on the way to becoming a pro blogger. If you are afraid of failure, you will probably never make it. Don't be surprised if you fail on your first attempt, or even your tenth. Just analyze what you did wrong and learn from it. Try something new. Keep trying. Keep learning.

This applies to many aspects of blogging. Whether you're trying to find your specific niche(s), or style of writing, or the best way for you to earn money, you will learn through trial and error. Many ideas will fail. And that's fine. Either revise your technique, or accept it and move on to something new.

You may wind up abandoning several blogs, because you later realized they didn't suit you, and that's fine. I did. And I learned a lot from doing so.

6) Develop a schedule.

Just like a "real job", you need to have some sort of routine. Work out what time you have available for blogging, and do it. Work during the hours you've allotted, stick to a general posting schedule, and work out some sort of content creation routine that will help you continue blogging, as well as avoiding as many mental roadblocks as you possibly can.

7) Prioritize.

Good time management is important. Even with a schedule, you will often find that some things will require more time than others, and you may not have enough time to finish what you wanted to do that day. Get your priorities in order- do the most important things first, then take care of the rest.

Distractions are, well, distracting. But it's important to keep mental clarity, and stay focused on the important topics at hand. Do what you need to do first, then have fun. I know, it's a hard lesson to learn. And it's one of those things that need to be mastered if you want to be a pro blogger.

8) Never rely on a single income stream.

It may be common sense not to rely on a single source of income (like AdSense profits alone), but it's surprising how many bloggers do. Earnings are hardly ever steady, and rarely can you pay all your bills every month with a single check (or funds transfer) you've earned. The few who can are putting themselves at risk- if their source of money dries up, they have nothing to fall back on. Don't put yourself in that position.

9) A full time income may require more than one blog or website.

While there are some who support themselves with one blog alone, they are few and far between.

Don't be afraid to take on another project if you have the time. It's common for people to have several interests- don't limit yourself to just one. Having a few blogs/websites can be more than just financially rewarding- you will have the opportunity to learn more, and blogging about a variety of topics helps to prevent boredom.

You don't have to start a new website if you don't want to, either. There are plenty of sites already that are looking for contributing bloggers, and many of them pay well. But make sure that's what you want to do before you commit. Blogging for someone else isn't a gig that's right for everyone.

Think of blogging as a way to further your dream career, rather than a career in itself. Your "empire", ideally, should reflect what you ultimately want to do. Because let's face it, not all of us are interesting characters worthy of earning a living by simply documenting what we do every day.

10) Know when to say no.

Don't take every opportunity that comes your way. You may encounter some opportunities that seem great at the time they're offered, but won't be beneficial in the long run. Analyze any offers you receive, and the positive and negative effects of taking on that project. If the negatives outweigh the positives in relation to your goals and current projects (time is an important issue), then turn down the offer. And don't feel bad about doing so. Do what is right for you.

11) Cater to your readers..

Your readers are important, so you need to make them happy. Respond to their comments and emails, chat with them on Twitter, **Facebook, Google+, etc.,** really get to know them and what they want. If you understand your readers and what they are looking for, you will be more apt to satisfy them with new content. They will reward you with their support, by referring others to your blog, perhaps even buying products or donating money.

12) ..But don't lose yourself in the process.

Always keep in mind what is important to you, and don't deviate from that simply to satisfy others. 

**Being yourself is important! Not everyone will like you, but who cares? It can be a good thing when someone unsubscribes- you're cultivating your audience, people who appreciate you for who you are and what you do. These are your supporters.** 

13) Get to know your readers on a more personal level.

Too often I see bloggers forget that their readers are people too, and not just numbers on a traffic report. (And yes, I have been guilty of this in the past.)

It's emotional engagement that keeps people coming back to your blog, so give them something to laugh at, or think about. Really connect with them. Treat them as the competent people they are, and not search engine spiders.

14) Sometimes we have to "sell out"..

In order to pay the bills, it is often necessary to support other products/companies on our blogs. The most common is contextual or banner advertising, but it is not rare to see text links, posts advertising a product or website, or bloggers selling products of their own. There is nothing wrong with this, if you put your readers first.

15) ..But don't really sell out.

Keep money in its proper place. Don't advertise products you wouldn't buy yourself. Don't create something crappy and sell it for a fortune. That's just bad business.

16) Be transparent.

Trust is based on transparency. Tell your readers who you are (on an 'about' page), and your motives for blogging. Label all sponsored posts as such. Never misrepresent yourself if you can help it. What readers do or don't know about you and your blog will impact their trust in you.

17) Social media is your best friend.

Get on Twitter and Digg and Facebook and any other social media websites that you feel will best help you and your brand, and use them often. Network with people who share similar interests and keep in touch with them. With the help of social media, a good blog can spread like wildfire.

However, don't use your social profiles simply to advertise yourself, make a point to connect with others and provide them with value when possible. Help them with any problems they may have. Participate in discussion. Be friendly. Be an active community member. You must give before you can receive.

18) Keep writing.

There will be many days when you will feel uninspired, and words will be hard to come by. When this happens, just keep writing anyway. Write a personal entry, or some other writing exercise (that you may never even publish) to get the creativity flowing again. Usually that will help.

Keep writing through the tough times. The more you avoid the problem, the easier it becomes to procrastinate. And you'll never get anything done.

19) Keep improving.

Always look for new ways you can improve your blog, whether it be your writing, design, monetization tactics, etc. Don't focus on working harder, try working smarter. Don't be afraid to try something new.. you may learn something in the process.

20) Feel free to break the rules.

While there is a sort of blogging etiquette to follow (spam=bad, etc.), don't be afraid to break the various unofficial blogging rules, such as how many times you should post each week, or how long each post should be. Every blog is different and there are really no set rules. Figure out what's right for you and just do it.

That's all I have to say on this for now. Do you have any advice you'd like to share?

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Fashion Bloggers: Stop Comparing Yourselves To Others

There is a lot of envy, shame, cattiness, etc, among style bloggers that I've never come to understand.

So many girls refuse to post photos of themselves online because they are ashamed of their appearance. Many starve themselves to look like the 'top fashion bloggers' who happen to be tall, thin, wealthy, and often with jobs as models. Others leave horrible comments, telling girls they "look fat", or worse. I've even heard of teeny-tiny girls ashamed of being too small! Or maybe you don't like your nose, or your chin, or whatever.

But here's something to consider- all of us have things we don't like about ourselves.

Who cares if you're not a model like Rumi, or you aren't wealthy like Jane? Stop comparing yourself to others!

You will never look exactly like someone else, and that's AWESOME!

Want to know a secret? I hate my nose, and my sensitive skin, and my belly, and my thighs, and the fact I have to shave twice as often as most women.. but I've learned to accept these things as part of ME, and I love me!

It's all about getting to know ourselves and learning to love who we are. Take care of yourself and be kind to your emotions. Stop dwelling on what you aren't, and shift your focus to your good assets! (You do have them, you know.)

And don't ever feel bad if/when someone leaves horrible comments on your blog. (Delete them without a second thought!) Understand that these people are trying to avoid their own insecurities by putting you down (that's their problem, not yours), and you want nothing to do with their kind anyway. You're better than that!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Outfit: Rainy Autumn Morning

rainy autumn morning - jacket - Ambiance - jeans - Lovesick - hat - thrifted - belt - Hot Topic - shoes - Sketchers - raivyn dkIt was a chilly, rainy morning here in NY. Thankfully, it cleared up and the sun shined on the beautiful, bright fall leaves.

What I'm wearing:
jacket - Ambiance
jeans - Lovesick
hat - thrifted
belt - Hot Topic
shoes - Sketchers

The rain this morning did not help my mood much, honestly. I already had a migraine forming, I just rushed through my makeup, and then I had to go out to find it was raining. This led into an extremely rushed, busy day. But I handled it. And friends helped me through it.

The company you keep is a very important thing. If you surround yourself with people who thrive on drama, you can expect to have lots of problems. If you find a nice chill group of friends, you'll find yourself more relaxed. If you hang out with successful people, you will probably be driven to find success of your own. Funny how that works, right?

As much as some of us would hate to admit it, we, humans, are products of our environments. Where you live, your lifestyle, family, and friends are all factors in what makes you you. You can't always choose your family, but you can always choose your friends. Pick wisely. 

Link Up: 



Sunday, September 8, 2013

FUCK FASHION: The Art of Not Giving a Shit

Raivyn dK - Thunder Roads Ohio - Easyriders Rodeo 2013 - tattoos tattooed pierced piercings alt industrial goth metal models - blonde mohawk - fuxleep unicorn fuckers middle finger, decree - style, fuck fashion, inspiration, black and grey tattoo sleeve, medusa, raven - scene queen goth tattoo model
Tattoos aren't everyone's cup of tea,
but that doesn't make me 'ugly' or a
'bad person'. I just express myself a
little differently. If you don't like it,
that's your problem, not mine.
You read it right- the art of not giving a shit.

I think everything I have to say on this topic revolves around having confidence in yourself, so if you have some issues you need to work out, I suggest you read this article.

No matter who you are or where you come from, you will have to face some sort of criticism throughout your entire life. Whether it comes from someone else, or we're our own worst critics, we have to know when to take it as constructive criticism or ignore it altogether. Consider the source.

When you stop worrying about what others think, and be true to yourself and those around you, you are free to be who you are.

If people can't accept you for how you dress and/or what you look like, maybe those aren't the kind of people you want to associate with. The same goes if those around you don't support your love of photography, or traveling, etc. You need to surround yourself with like-minded people who will encourage you to live your dreams, and don't waste your time with the negative ones who will hold you back.

Know your boundaries and stick with them. You must have some sort of personal morals that you live by, a sense of what's right and wrong for you. Listen to your gut feeling. Don't let yourself be pressured into something you really don't want to do.

Wear what makes you happy. You don't have to be trendy to be liked and considered stylish. Clothing trends change quickly, and are often inspired by some random person in the street who wore something that sparked an idea. 'Fashionable' is only a matter of opinion. The only definite in personal style is YOU. As long as you know and are confident with who you are, it doesn't matter what you wear.

Focus on being the best 'you' you can be, and stop worrying about what you are not. You can't please everyone, and it's not worth trying. Just get out there and do what you do best!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

FUCK FASHION: It Starts With Confidence

You want to know the secret to looking absolutely stunning?

It's CONFIDENCE.

Not the "in" shoes, bag, sunglasses, jacket, etc.. Not the most expensive perfume you can afford. And, believe it or not, it certainly isn't money.

CONFIDENCE.

Not to be confused with egotism, confidence is that awesome state of being that improves your posture, and you smile more, and tend to have a great attitude- people generally want to be around you. No matter what you're wearing, you will never truly be able to look amazing without confidence.

I know, it doesn't come easy for everyone.

A lot of people struggle with self esteem. You may be too short, too fat, have a big nose, have bad skin, have suffered injuries, diseases/disorders, etc. You may have been teased or beaten up a lot. You may still be harassed today. But I can tell you something-

You CAN change that.

When you stop dwelling on the negative things, and focus on the positive, your mindset will begin to change. This shift will help you to bring out the good things in yourself, and start working toward happiness.

Accept and learn to laugh at your flaws. We've all got them, and the only thing that truly matters is how we handle our own. When we are confident, we are less likely to get caught up in our insecurities and make it 'weird', and that's less awkwardness for us to deal with. It takes practice interacting with people, but in time, after various successes in facing your fears, you will start to gain confidence in yourself.

Get away from those who bring you down. You want to surround yourself with caring, supportive people who encourage you to be your best every day. If you are in a bad life situation, get yourself out of there immediately. There is always help if you need it. Your environment, and the people in it, have a very strong influence on your emotions.

Do what YOU want to do. Do you dream of working for yourself? Traveling the world? Being a writer? Then do it! You can if you put your mind to it. Set both long and short term goals and do something every day to achieve them. Your hard work WILL pay off, you will have learned much from the journey, and you will be doing something that makes you happy.

Take some time for yourself. When you're having a hard time emotionally, find some time to go to the spa to unwind (or soak in the tub for a while), or paint, or go hiking, or whatever you like to do to get away from the stresses of the world. You need that time to get yourself back to a positive mindset. Positivity is everything!

Once you have found confidence in who you are and what is important to you, you won't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about what you're wearing.

Dress for YOU. Wear the things that flatter your assets and make you feel beautiful. Carry yourself with confidence. And SMILE!

That, my friends, is the key to looking absolutely stunning- CONFIDENCE!

Friday, August 23, 2013

Introducing: FUCK FASHION

Sex, Drugs, & Unicorns
Over the next month or so, I will writing posts for a series I'd like to call FUCK FASHION.

As the title suggests, FUCK FASHION challenges social norms and society's idea of 'beauty' and being 'stylish'. Beauty and fashion are merely a matter of opinion, nothing else. It is from these opinions that trends form, and people follow like sheep. Often these opinions are inspired by a number of subcultures- goths, punks, surfers, nerds, etc.

This is why I say, "FUCK FASHION!" If you are going to be a gorgeous, unique, and inspiring individual, you need to not worry about public opinion. You need to do/wear what you want to do/wear, and not give a shit what anybody thinks about you. And you may face a lot of criticism. But it's a growing opportunity - sticks and stones, people - that will make you  into a much more amazing person.

All FF posts will be labeled with the tag FUCK FASHION, so check it out, bookmark it, whatever. I'd love to know your thoughts and opinions on the posts in this series, so please take a moment to comment and/or share them with your friends.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Fuck Labels - Wear What Makes You Happy

Sex, Drugs, & Unicorns
I would have to say my best piece of fashion advice is ignore everything everyone tells you is "cool" and the "right" thing to wear. Fuck them!

Fashion is a matter of opinion, not someone else's idea of beauty to live up to. Wear what you like, not things that you think will make other people like you.

The idea here is- being stylish isn't about always having the latest designer clothes, the most expensive handbag, or the wildest shoes you can find. It's about wearing things that make you feel confident and amazing. You are wearing the outfit; it shouldn't be wearing you.

If you can't walk in those amazing shoes, don't buy them! You are not going to feel sexy if you're falling all over the place.

If you're going out and can't breathe in that gorgeous super-tight corset, wear something else! Beauty is not worth a trip to the emergency room!

I Love Black Glitter
On the other end of the spectrum, I have a friend who tries on like 10 outfits a day to achieve that perfect "trashy-chic" look she's going for. She loves old thrifted, worn in, beat up clothes and rocks it because she's always cheerful and super confident. "I spent an hour coming up with this dirtbag outfit today and didn't do shit with my hair." Her shining, don't-give-a-fuck personality makes it work.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, play around. Have fun. Get away from what others think, and start thinking for yourself. You define what beauty is for you, no one else.

Don't be afraid to shop by yourself to avoid a biased opinion. Try on and buy the things that you like. Dress in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and ready to take on the world.

And don't forget- beauty is only a matter of perception and opinion.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Self Image, Lovers, Haters, and Your Personal Thought Process

I won't lie- I'm not one of those lucky people who were born into money, the fashion industry, etc. And in all reality, I'm glad I wasn't. Sure, that means I have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition of someone more privileged, but that also means that with my successes, I am going to feel more accomplished and inspired, as opposed to 'I'm famous because I have money, so I deserve every like, comment, and vote.' And it's very humbling.

I work hard every day to do what I do, and I enjoy every minute of it. I do still view myself as 'privileged' in a way, because I do have a life that others only wish they had. But I busted my ass, and continue to do so, for it. That's what a lot of people don't realize- I work incredibly hard at what I do. It wasn't just given to me. And I'd rather have it that way.

I didn't always have a great outlook on myself and life, I spent much of my later childhood into early adulthood severely depressed, eating disordered, and suicidal. There you go, it's out in the open now.

I spent a good bit of my life thus far knowing that most everyone around me was fake, and I thought I was the crazy one. I literally drove myself insane, thinking I already was because I was different. I didn't realize that being different was a very wonderful thing to be, because I didn't have people around me who supported that idea. I didn't have many friends. I spent so much time trying to live up to someone else's idea of 'beautiful' and 'amazing', because I had no vision myself. And it nearly killed me. Several times. In fact, it's a miracle I'm still alive today, all things considered.

And to think, it all stemmed from the fact that no one understood brilliant when they saw it. They would rather put someone else down than compliment them.

I understand all of this now, and chose a life against the grain, challenging social norms and doing just the opposite of what is 'acceptable'.

It took a while for my family to understand that I just can't be what they want- 10 years so far! I am my own person, I think for myself, I choose how to decorate my body, and there is nothing wrong with that. They are now beginning to realize that this is not a phase I'm going through, this is who I am, and it is wrong to preach. Positive feedback from others in the local and online communities helps a lot too.

It was both simple and difficult to reach a better, healthier, self loving mindset. It is merely a choice, a decision to be happy and find the beauty in the little things, and stand by that no matter what. You have to keep your eyes focused on the goal - happiness - and work towards it every day. Do not put positive habits off til tomorrow. That doesn't help you today. This simple decision and endurance of mind is what it takes to overcome negative thinking. No one can help you until you are willing to help yourself.

Now with that said, take some time to think, what can you do to help yourself and lead a more loving, fulfilling life?

* * * * *


Ich will nicht lügen, ich bin nicht einer jener glücklichen Menschen, die in Geld geboren wurden, die Mode-Industrie, etc. Und in aller Wirklichkeit, ich bin froh, dass ich nicht war. Sicher, das heißt, ich muss doppelt so hart arbeiten, um die Hälfte der Anerkennung von jemandem mehr privilegiert zu bekommen, aber das bedeutet auch, dass mit meinen Erfolgen, ich werde das Gefühl mehr erreicht und inspiriert, wie zu "Ich bin dagegen, weil ich berühmt Geld haben, so wie ich es verdiene jeden, Kommentar und Stimme. ' Und es ist sehr demütigend.

Ich arbeite hart jeden Tag zu tun, was ich tue, und ich genieße jede Minute davon. Ich weiß immer noch sehen mich als 'privilegierte' in einer Weise, denn ich habe ein Leben, das andere nur wünschen, sie hätten. Aber ich kaputt meinen Arsch, und dies auch weiterhin tun, denn es. Das ist, was viele Leute nicht wissen, ich arbeite sehr hart, was ich tue. Es war nicht nur mir gegeben. Und ich würde es lieber so.

Ich habe nicht immer eine tolle Aussicht auf mich und das Leben, verbrachte ich viel von meiner späteren Kindheit bis ins frühe Erwachsenenalter schwer depressiv, Eßstörungen und selbstmörderisch. Dort gehen Sie, ist es in der jetzt offen.

Ich habe ein gutes Stück von meinem Leben bisher zu wissen, dass fast jeder um mich herum war gefälscht, und ich dachte, ich wäre der Verrückte. Ich habe buchstäblich fuhr mich verrückt, dachte ich schon, weil ich anders war. Mir war nicht bewusst, dass, anders war eine wunderbare Sache zu sein, weil ich nicht die Menschen um mich herum, die diese Idee unterstützt. Ich habe nicht viele Freunde. Ich habe so viel Zeit damit zu leben, bis jemand anderes die Idee der "schönen" und "erstaunlich", weil ich keine Vision hatte ich. Und es hat mich fast umgebracht. Mehrmals. In der Tat, es ist ein Wunder, dass ich noch am Leben bin heute ist, alles in allem.

Und zu denken, es ergab sich aus der Tatsache, dass niemand brillant verstanden werden, wenn sie es sahen. Sie würden lieber setzen jemand anderes sich als Kompliment ihnen.

Ich verstehe das alles jetzt, und wählte ein Leben gegen den Strich, herausfordernde soziale Normen und tut genau das Gegenteil von dem, was ist "akzeptabel".

Es dauerte eine Weile, um meine Familie zu verstehen, dass ich einfach nicht so weit sein, was sie wollen-10 Jahren! Ich bin meine eigene Person, die ich für mich denke, wähle ich, wie mein Körper schmücken, und es ist nichts falsch mit dem. Sie beginnen nun zu erkennen, dass dies nicht eine Phase I durchlaufen bin, ist dies, wer ich bin, und es ist falsch, zu predigen. Positives Feedback von anderen in der lokalen und Online-Communities hilft auch viel.

Es war einfach und schwierig, eine bessere, gesündere, selbst liebevolle Haltung zu erreichen. Es ist nur eine Wahl, eine Entscheidung, glücklich zu sein und finden die Schönheit in den kleinen Dingen, und stehen, egal was. Sie müssen halten Sie die Augen konzentriert auf das Ziel - Glück - und arbeiten an es jeden Tag. Legen Sie keine positive Gewohnheiten off til morgen. Das hilft Ihnen nicht heute. Diese einfache Entscheidung und Ausdauer des Geistes ist, was es zu negativen Denkens überwinden müsste. Niemand kann Ihnen helfen, bis Sie bereit sind, sich zu helfen.

Jetzt mit dieser sagte, nehmen Sie sich etwas Zeit, um nachzudenken, was können Sie tun, um sich selbst zu helfen und führen ein liebevoller, erfülltes Leben?

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Thoughts On Being Yourself

Let's get this straight before we get started- I do not understand the concept of "fitting in", because I have never really "fit in" anywhere in particular. I'm used to being that weirdo outcast girl. How I view this topic is mostly based on speculation, and when you think about it, that's all anyone can do- because, even though we do have our social habits and patterns, trends and interests tend to change too quickly to allow for a 'textbook definition'.

I often hear that "being different takes guts". It's hard to stand up against social norms and put yourself out there for criticism.

But I don't see it- you're going to face criticism no matter what you do, wherever you go, and what you look like. Not everyone is going to like you all the time. This is a fact of life. Get over it.

Yes, the criticism is more apparent when you look different. People judge first by appearances. It happens. But perhaps it should be thought more of as social conditioning, because if you were too shy to put yourself out there in the first place, maybe there are some inner issues you need to work out. Not caring what others think about how you look is a sign of confidence (or in rare cases, delusion).

Every woman should be able to dress herself how she wants, with no concern for the judgement of others, and walk through her day with confidence, knowing that she is unique and beautiful.

Don't be afraid to be different. Learning to overcome mental blocks and other obstacles is all part of growing into a bigger, better, more wonderful person. Embrace the things that make you 'YOU'.

Surround yourself with other wonderful, positive, helpful, supportive people who inspire you, and dump those who do not. Do not waste your time on those who put you down and bring problems- they are of no help to you and will only continue to bring you down. Get away from that! Get yourself to a happy, healthy place.

* * * * *

Lassen Sie uns dieses gerade bekommen, bevor wir begannen, verstehe ich nicht, das Konzept der "Montage in" bekommen, weil ich nie wirklich irgendwo insbesondere "passen". Ich bin zu sein, dass Weirdo Ausgestoßenen Mädchen verwendet. Wie sehe ich dieses Thema ist vor allem auf Spekulationen stützen, und wenn man darüber nachdenkt, das ist alles, jeder kann tun-da, obwohl wir haben unsere sozialen Gewohnheiten und Muster, Trends und Interessen neigen dazu, zu schnell ändern, um für eine erlauben 'Lehrbuch Definition ".

Ich höre oft, dass "Anderssein braucht Mut". Es ist schwer, sich gegen gesellschaftliche Normen und versetzen Sie sich da draußen für Kritik.

Aber ich sehe es nicht-du gehst auf die Kritik, egal was du tust, wo immer Sie sind konfrontiert, und wie du aussiehst. Nicht jeder wird wie du die ganze Zeit. Dies ist eine Tatsache des Lebens. Get over it.

Ja, das ist die Kritik noch deutlicher, wenn man anders aussehen. Die Menschen beurteilen zunächst durch Auftritte. Es passiert. Aber vielleicht sollte es mehr als soziale Konditionierung gedacht werden, denn wenn man zu schüchtern, um sich da draußen in den ersten Platz waren, vielleicht gibt es einige innere Probleme, die Sie brauchen, um herauszufinden, sind. Nicht darum kümmern, was andere darüber, wie man sich denken, ist ein Zeichen des Vertrauens (oder in seltenen Fällen, Wahn).


Jede Frau sollte in der Lage sein, sich kleiden, wie sie will, ohne Rücksicht auf das Urteil der anderen, und gehen Sie durch ihren Tag mit Vertrauen, zu wissen, dass sie einzigartig und schön ist.

Haben Sie keine Angst, anders zu sein. Lernen, mentale Blockaden und andere Hindernisse zu überwinden ist alles Teil des Erwachsenwerdens in ein größeres, besser, wunderbarer Mensch. Umfassen Sie die Dinge, die du "du" zu machen.

Umgeben Sie sich mit anderen wunderbaren, positiv, hilfreich, unterstützend Menschen, die Sie inspirieren und werfen diejenigen, die dies nicht tun. Vergeuden Sie nicht Ihre Zeit auf diejenigen, die Sie legte und Probleme mit sich bringen, sie sind keine Hilfe für Sie und nur Sie auch weiterhin zu senken. Raus aus, dass! Holen Sie sich zu einem glücklichen, gesunden Ort.

* * * * *


让我们直在我们开始之前,我不明白,“装修”的概念,因为我从来没有真正“适合”在任何地方特别。我用成为那个怪人弃儿女孩。我如何看待这个话题大多是基于对投机,和你认为它时,那是所有的人可以做的,因为,尽管我们也有我们的社会习惯和模式,趋势和利益往往以改变太快允许一个'教科书定义。

我经常听到“不同需要勇气”。这是很难站起来反对社会规范,并把自己在那里批评。

但我没有看到它,你将要面对的批评,不管你做什么,无论你走到哪里,你是什么样子。不是每个人都喜欢你所有的时间。这是一个不争的事实。获取权。

是的,批评是更加明显,当你看到不同。人们判断首先出场。它发生。不过,或许它应该被认为是更多的社会调理,因为如果你太害羞了,把自己在那里摆在首位,也许有一些内在的问题,你需要的工作。不关心别人怎么想你怎么看待,是信心的标志(或在极少数情况下,妄想)。


每个女人都应该打扮自己,她是怎么想的,不关心别人的判断,穿行有信心,知道她的日子,她是独特而美丽。

不要害怕与众不同。学习,克服心理障碍和其他障碍的一部分,成长为一个更大,更好,更精彩的人。拥抱,让你'你'的事情。

环绕自己与其他美好的,积极的,有益的,支持的人谁启发你和转储那些谁不。不要浪费你的时间,这些人把你放下带来的问题,他们是对你毫无帮助,只会继续为您带来。远离!让自己快乐,健康的地方。
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...