Living With Fibromyalgia

I've written about having Fibromyalgia here several times before, but never really explained what it feels like to live with it. 

If you follow this blog, you'll know that I am very fit, I eat well, and hike long distances on a regular basis. I'm generally a very happy and driven person with big dreams and goals I aspire to. I'm an over-achiever, and appear to have everything working in my favor. I don't look sick at all. In fact, I'm healthier than most people.

But I have a horrid condition, and most people can't even fathom the pain I endure.

There is a very good reason I'm always out hiking- I can't EVER relax. I can't be still without hurting and my muscles tensing up. I have to be constantly moving [but not repetitive motions], and stretching, and massaging my muscles, and half my week is spent at physical therapy and doctor appointments. I'm exhausted, but the moment I stop moving is when the agony sets in. Before I started taking meds, I used to wake up, crying, every single night because the pain of being still was too much to bear. Sleep was impossible.

There is no cure, and this is a condition I'm going to have for the rest of my life.

Part of the reason I get tattooed so often is it can be considered a coping mechanism, a more hardcore acupuncture, replacing one [widespread] pain with another [concentrated] for a little while. It hurts so good, and I find a lot of relief in it.

I consider myself lucky- I have a boyfriend who believes me about this "invisible illness" and supports me in everything I do. He cooks for me every day and tends to me when I can't bring myself to do the little, necessary things in life. He doesn't complain, and always gives me the emotional support I need.

A lot of people with Fibromyalgia don't have this kind of support. I've read about so many marriages falling apart, mothers being unable to care for their children, friendships lost, people losing their jobs, etc., because no one understands what is really happening to these people who suffer from this condition.

What FM looks like if it were visible:

I've heard about so many young [and middle aged], beautiful, strong women [and men] committing suicide because they can't bear the physical and emotional agony that comes with this condition. Things like this make me very sad, and I invite anyone with FM to contact me. You don't need [or deserve] to struggle with this alone.

Living with Fibromyalgia is not a choice. It's something we just have to do.